I’m not gonna do it. Really. Not happening. Won’t let it. Just stop the conversation right here, right now. It’s an easy road. Low hanging fruit. I’m trying to work hard and make art out of words. I’m not going to take the bait. That’s exactly what they want. You’re expecting it, I’m expecting it, and frankly – it’s just plain boring.
So yeah, it’s not going down. Something creative and unique is going to describe this restaurant. It will NOT have a predictable pun in it like every other Uneeda Burger review out there. Because I don’t write reviews. I write for fun. I write to write. I write to uniquely express myself by throwing a bunch of words and thoughts together in a dynamic and rhythmic flow.
Oops. A little off track there. Sorry. On to writing about Uneeda Burger:
While not usually an everyday occurrence, there are indeed times when you need a – FUCK.
Seattle’s a town that has a variety of choices for fresh, tasty burgers and hand-cut fries. There are the Dick’s Drive-ins at the lower end, your Red Mill Burgers more in the middle, but really, when you’re craving an experience – a deliciously juicy patty topped with locally sourced dairy and vegetables along with a pint of a Seattle microbrew, Uneeda Burger is the choice for you. You don’t always need a – FUCK.
Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I tried. I failed. What does it really matter? Who’s keeping score? Exactly. No one.
Go try a meal at Uneeda Burger. It’s a cool building that has one of those garage doors that opens up to a patio and makes the place all light and airy in warm weather. Even if it’s cold and rainy – go try some top quality food and drink in upper Fremont.
I even know when you should go and try it. Save the experience for that one time, that time when you go to Paseo, but you get there, and when you see the line, you decide you really can’t wait a half hour to get that legendary pork sandwich but you also don’t want to feel like you’ve wasted your trek into Fremont for nothing. NOTHING!
You’re ok. Take a deep breath. I know you’re hungry. You know you’re hungry. If you weren’t, you’d just wait in that ridiculously long line for Paseo, that line that’s making you so mad in the first place.
But alas, find solace across the street. You only thought you wanted that divine combination of slow cooked pork, jalapeños, onions, aioli and romaine all on a crusty roll – really, don’t worry. You weren’t really craving that sandwich. Today actually happens to be one of those days when you need a –FUCK.